Ideastic

Discovering

2008-07-30T17:18:00.003+05:30

I recently went to Pune to visit an educational institution as part of an article I am doing.
I visited FLAME, a B-school, and was mighty impressed with it — the kind of education that it offers is breath-takingly different and refreshing, something unheard of before in India. I was also quite impressed with the infrastructure. If the institute delivers what it promises to offer, I will not be surprised if it goes on to become one of the best in the country, if it not already is, that is.

Girl in Clinton Ad supports Obama.

2008-03-12T02:46:00.000+05:30

Girl in Clinton Ad supports Obama. Such is life

There vote bank

2008-03-10T20:04:00.007+05:30

As part of our jobs, we journalists are used to getting unsolicited, often hostile, mails from readers who write in for various reasons. These mails can be for wide-ranging purposes—invites to local events, which are of no inherent importance, feedback on one of your articles—they generally tell you that that your articles suck (okay, sometimes the mails say your article was wonderful, This is especially so in case of PR types, but then that's another story), etc. Once in a while flies in a mail that has commentary on current issues. The tones of aforesaid articles—some just want to get it out of their respective systems, while others shout and say, what the hell, make me a columnist in your paper. Here's one such mail that I got today. Reproduced verbatim from an e-mail sent by one Mr Kumar Panditpotra without permission from the aforesaid Mr Panditpotra. It's typically a cross between the two tones that I mentioned above:

Present hawok for mumbai out sider.

Since last month all media has news about UP immigrants in
mumbai and maharashtra. It purly
dirty political game. No body is interested in Indian integrity.
Off cource due this immigrants
local puplic is effected. This is not the way to give notice to give
particular local people.

They are harassed because they are cabable to fight back, they
have come to mumbai or
maharashtra for their rogi roti.

If any one has guds why don’t they challenge the BANGLADESHI/
MUSLIMS, who settled all
over the mumbai, in pockets like Dharavi/kurla airport land /
BAINGWADI/Mankhurd.

There is a way to stop them comeing to mumbai, But no one is
interested ,let it be any party.

STOP new slum in any part of mumai or nearby area, If they donot
get such free places they deffinatly stop comeing .

But who will bell the cat. It there VOTE BANK.

kumar panditpotra

I'm a fan

2008-03-06T01:30:00.003+05:30

I recently read about Ubuntu, the open-source operating system touted by many as the alternative to Windows. I went to the site and ordered a free CD, which of course I knew I wouldn't end up using. To start with, I doubted if they'd ship all the way to Bombay, India.
15 days after ordering--and forgetting everything about the entire thing--I got it. A copy of the OS shipped to my place, neatly packed and delivered.
I was surprised and pleased. I don't think I will install the OS--my family is not-so-tech-savvy and operating XP is a big deal for them. The open-source advocate in me (it gave me Firefox) has grown stronger and I have a feeling that before long, there will be soon a good alternative to Gates' Windows--which reminds me of "in a world without walls and fences, who needs windows and gates". Of course, it won't ever be as popular as Windows.
I haven't come across a good open-source anti-virus software even though I've tried many.

A few stray thoughts

2008-01-27T04:14:00.000+05:30

It’s 11 in the night and I am at my computer. Playing some game. I do it for a couple hours, then wind up and log onto the net to surf and bide time casually. Soon after, I pull out a DVD of Taare Zameen Par and watch it for the umpteenth time.
Which soon makes it 3.30 am. Having got nothing left to do — the family is fast asleep, and with sleep seeming to have divorced me for the night — I decide to go out for a casual stroll. I check my wallet for the house key, something which is of immense value for people like me who love to come back home only when everyone else is asleep. I step out into a chilly weather that has recently caught the city unaware. I know by past experience that there would be a coffeewallah at the colony’s gate to welcome me — one of Mumbai’s famed (and countless) 4am coffeewallah. However, I did wonder if he’d be there braving this weather and half-expect him. He’s indeed there, though. I ask him for a cup of coffee, but it doesn’t give me any respite from the blowing freezy wind. I pay him and walk back passing the watchman of the colony — who’s sleeping in his chair braving the cold weather after having wrapped himself in a shawl, which I doubt would have been of any protective use.
I key in back. To the warmth of my home. Where I can wrap myself up in the thickest blanket I can find and enjoy the tenderness of the bed and go into a deep slumber. However a thought strikes me: what of the coffeewallah — he has to endure the record-breaking 12 Degrees Celsius that is being bandied about in the papers. And also, the watchman who wouldn’t possible have a half-decent home. Also, the beggar who may be fast asleep on the foot-over bridge at the nearby railway station with not much to cover him. And also the millions of people in India who may not have a proper roof over their homes. Of course, also, the crores of people around the world — who may again be without a proper roof over their heads. Who may have to endure far colder temperatures. In another setting, I would’ve enjoyed this if only I was at a picnic and was surrounded by a group of friends sitting around the comfort of a warm fire and had a packet of cigarettes beside (I have done that a number of times — Nainital, two winters ago at 2 Degrees and Mahabaleshwar last year, 8 Degrees). My thoughts also wander to the other seasons. Monsoons, the season I and most love. Maybe six months ago, while I enjoyed the rain pouring down in torrents at Bandstand, the coffeewallah would have worried about the water about to enter his home. Or the carefree beggar at the railway station — he may not have had a home to return to.
In modern-day terms, those who fail to get a ceiling above them are called losers. They couldn’t equip themselves with the skills, or didn’t have the education or business acumen to succeed in this brutally competitive world. I was talented to have a comfortable home that I could return to (Okay, my father was, I didn’t buy it). So that I could actually savour the cold weather and when it got too much could return back to its warmth. Faith, however, tells me that I was purely lucky and they aren’t. I think faith wins versus logic. 1:0.
The morning after, I get up of course late. And look up the paper to see what temperature it was. And begin the day for another competitive journey so that I may grow. And may not be counted among the losers.

Rhymes and metaphors

2008-01-25T17:33:00.000+05:30

What's more unbelievable, this piece of news or the way it has been written?

"Roger Federer's invincibility was pierced, then pummelled and finally pulled apart at Melbourne Park on Friday, the world number one brutally ejected from the Australian Open semi-finals by Novak Djokovic.

The Swiss champion and top seed fell 7-5, 6-3, 7-6 ending his bid to reach an 11th consecutive Grand Slam final. Instead Djokovic will face muscular Frenchman Jo-Wilfried Tsonga in Sunday's showpiece.

Where third seed Djokovic was thunderous, Federer was ponderous.

This defeat inflicted on Federer his first straight-sets loss since losing to Gustavo Kuerten in the 2004 French Open.

The holder of 12 grand slam crowns, his chase of Pete Sampras's record 14 is now on ice until the French Open.

Serb Djokovic was simply too strong, too steady. Where Federer inched past Djokovic in the last Grand Slam final, the US Open in September, this time the Serb was always a nose ahead."

Someone please hand him/her a news-writing manual.

George Bush is a WMD

2008-01-24T15:07:00.000+05:30

Now what do we call him weapon of mass deception?

I may come back

2008-01-22T17:09:00.000+05:30

I may come back...

Untitled post

2007-10-16T15:22:00.000+05:30

Even though blogging has ceased, the passion is still there. I have been out of the blogosphere's loop for some time now.
This blog will remain as it is — dead. For, I have started blogging at a private space. Where I will write on things that catch my fancy, on anecdotes and memories, and on life generally.
So, it would tend to be quite boring. Like those 'Dear Diary' types. Which is why, I don't plan to send anybody its invite. Maybe I will.
Thanks for dropping by, if you read this.

farewell

2007-09-04T18:31:00.001+05:30

It's almost dead, this blog. Whithering away to death after a year and half of half-hearted soul-less blogging. Well, the passion isn't there; the love, though, is. So maybe I'll keep popping up with any new links or anecdotes which I encounter. To keep the poor thing alive.
Not that I have nothing to say... But the sheer effort of putting paper to pen really is tiring, especially when you're not such a great writer, okay, not even good.
Will sign off... with — what else — a joke.

Intelligent (?) quotes

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,” — Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff,” — Mariah Carey

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,” — Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,” — Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,” — Mayor
Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president,” — Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

“Half this game is ninety percent mental.” — Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” — Al Gore, Vice President

“If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.” — Bill Clinton, President

“We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.” — Al Gore, VP

“Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.” — Keppel Enderbery

Finally, from the man himself

“If we let the loggers go in and cut down all the trees we wouldn’t have a problem with forest fires.” – George Bush

"It’s no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another” — George Bush, US President

Source

A moral dilemma

2007-08-09T15:41:00.001+05:30

Here’s a dilemma...

With all your honor and dignity, what would you do? Please don’t answer without giving it serious thought. By giving an honest answer you will be able to test where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation, where you will have to make a decision one way or the other. Please scroll down slowly and consider each line — this is important for the test to work accurately.

You’re in Florida... in Miami, to be exact. There is great chaos going on around you, caused by a hurricane and severe floods. There are huge masses of water all over you. You are a news photographer and you are in the middle of this great disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You’re trying to shoot very impressive photos. There are houses and people floating around you, disappearing into the water. Nature is showing all its destructive power. Suddenly you see a man in the water, fighting for his life, trying not to be taken away by the masses of water and mud. You move closer. Somehow, the man looks familiar. Suddenly you know who it is — it’s George W. Bush! At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him away, forever. You have two options. You can save him or you can take the best photo of your life. So you can save the life of George W. Bush, or you can shoot a Pulitzer prize winning photo, a unique photo displaying the death of one of the world’s most powerful men.

And here’s the question (please give an honest answer):

Would you select color film, or rather go with the simplicity of classic black and white?

This post is untitled

2007-08-04T15:02:00.000+05:30

I have been keeping busy these days without actually doing much work.
This is my 75th post on this blog (over a year and three months), which kind of explains my irregularity or lack of conviction (or talent). Anyway, tinkered with my blog template, and took it into new blogger, which was long due, and will use my amateur HTML skills to iron out the flaws in the layout in some time (read:not-so-soon).
Also, do check: a cartoon depicting the joke that is journalism today.

Journalism

2007-08-03T16:37:00.001+05:30

I'm speechless. Dilip. More power to you.

Random Joke # 2

2007-07-31T18:55:00.000+05:30

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear.

The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President Bush's staff.

To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to surround the man's tractor. "Sir," the senior Secret Service agent asked, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did." The man muttered unconcernedly. "Do you realize that is the President of the United States airplane?" "Yep." "Were there any survivors?" the agent gasped. "Nope. They's all kilt straight out." The farmer sighed cutting off his tractor motor. "I done buried them all myself. Took most of the morning."

"The President of the United States is dead?" The agent gulped in disbelief. "Well," the farmer sighed, obviously wanting to get back to his work. "He kept a-saying he wasn't ... but you know what a liar he is."

Source

You might want to read...

2007-07-30T16:57:00.000+05:30

...Another 9/11 conspiracy theory

Passing the buck, the R-way

2007-07-25T17:07:00.001+05:30

Global consultancy giant McKinsey strikes a business deal with Reliance Communications, for which R-Comm had to pay up Rs 27 crore. Reliance, then, hasn't split. Soon, it does. Reliance Industries, headed by Mukesh, refuses to pay Rs 27 crore, asking McKinsey to go to R-Comm. R-Comm, now headed by Anil, refuses too, and passes the buck back to Mukesh, saying it hadn't struck a deal with McKinsey. So what does poor McKinsey do?
Of course, it sues both Reliance companies!

Journey called life

2007-07-20T19:11:00.000+05:30

I enjoy this strange equation with my blog. I love it so much that I actually feel that I should blog everyday, but am not able to bring myself to do so -- or maybe I don't have motivation enough.
Yesterday was a real disappointment. I got the first brush of what exactly is reporting. Had to string together a report of four people living in Bombay whose homes have gone for redevelopment. And the way two of them backtracked at the last moment left me high and dry.
I mean, I had worked with great passion for the story and it didn't work out. Apart from a couple hundred rupees worth of traveling and phone calls; and meeting with people, it all comes down to naught. But life is a great teacher.
Welcome to the real world!
Of course, the transition has been wonderful. You were the guy, whom your acquaintances looked up to, and thought of as knowledgeable, articulate and well-informed. The guy jo bahut ooncha jaayega. And you are suddenly thrust into a world so fiercely competitive that you feel you have to learn a lot.
It has, though, been a good journey... All by the grace of the Almighty

Random joke

2007-07-12T16:30:00.000+05:30

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from a road accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, "I’m fine," said the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite mule ’Bessie’ into the......." "I didn’t ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question." "Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ’I’m fine!’"Farmer Joe said, "Well I had just got ’Bessie’ into the trailer and I was driving down the road...".
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and said to the lawyer, "I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favourite mule ’Bessie’ ". Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded ’Bessie’, my favourite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side.I was thrown into one ditch and ’Bessie’ was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ’ole ’Bessie’ moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear ’Bessie’ moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?"

Source

2007-07-10T15:32:00.000+05:30

A random chat conversation

yasir: I don't mind some people having a look at my blog
yasir: but not everybody
yasir: infact
yasir: you are the only person who reads my blogs regularly
yasir: and that too because you are so jobless
nazimk24: hmmm

True :)

Nostalgia, and a sense of Déjà vu

2007-07-06T19:09:00.000+05:30

I had gone to college the other day and a sense of nostalgia overwhelmed me. I mean, you do value the place where you've studied for some years. The thing with life is, when you're in something, you feel the urge to step out. When I was in school, I only thing on my mind would be to get out of the place. If only I had known that that would later come to be the most cherished moments of my life, I would have valued it more. Ditto college. You're out of that, into the real world. What Déjà vu. Then you realise the time you spent there was the one of the most cherishable ones. Not that I'm not enjoying life now. (Advice: Students, cherish your each day)
Then hopped over to Mughal Sarai, the new restaurant at Bandra station, to catch up with some college friends, who seem to have taken some kind of refuge there, going by the time they spend in it. And it felt good. Now, Mughal Sarai isn't a place you'll fall in love with instantly. The ambience is really good, the service is slow, the food strictly okay, and the air nauseating — for those who do not exactly love the idea of hukka and cigaratte smoke mixed with their air. But the place has kind of grown on me.
Also, I was chatting with Yasir recently. And I asked him on what makes him such a prolific writer. The secret, he says, is in writing without inhibitions. Writing whatever you feel like. "Jot down your thought-process", as I had described him in a recent article. That is precisely what I will try to do. Write down whatever I feel like, though writing like that is the last thing I would want, for dearest google catches (and caches) it all. And I have people reading this blog whom I wished did not read. More on that later.

Tidbits, here and there

2007-06-18T20:44:00.000+05:30

My blog's been languishing like a lost baby. It will, however, start fuming with ferocious rage soon. I've settled into a new job nicely. It's been fun, the new environment, though I miss the old one.
Meanwhile, Yasir, over at his blog, has clicked some absolutely ravishing pictures with his cell-phone. Don't ask how he managed to click some of those darned pictures. Worth checking out.

The mobile mobile peddlar

2007-05-24T11:48:00.000+05:30

An interesting incident happened on Wednesday (yesterday). I was coming back home from Santacruz (Vakola, to be more precise) and was waiting for an auto-rickshaw. Just then, a guy in his, what seemed to be, mid-20s comes up to me out of nowhere and says: (the whole conversation took place in chaste Mumbaiiya hindi, embellished with generous doses of bhaigiri lingo - at which fortunately I, myself, am adept at) "Bhai, mobile khareedoge?" (Do you want to buy a mobile phone). I turn and look at him, taking in his rough facial features. He didn't, by any chance, appear to be a Nokia or Samsung sales executive out for some field research. He was an average looking guy, dark-complexioned, wearing a red shirt - and jeans whose colour I didn't bother to notice.

"Kaun sa mobile hai", I quipped back (Which one is it?).

"Nokia N91", he said. I was coming across, for the first time, a guy who roams about selling Nokia N91s on the street to random people. Something seemed fishy. Still, I asked him "Kitne me do ge?" (How much would you sell it for?). Six thousand, he said. Was he in his right mind? I thought. I mean, I don't know the exact cost of an N91, but it certainly costs much more than that. What's the deal, I asked him, and delved into his need to sell off an N91 for such a low cost. He said he needed some urgent money. What for, he didn't disclose. My suspicion grew. I asked him to accompany me to my area where I would get hold of someone who'd be willing to buy it. It feels safer to deal with some one in your own area. He didn't budge, and instead said: "Acha, paach hazaar me le lo". Heavens, the guy's on a bargaining spree, I thought. I said I didn't have that kind of cash on my person and at the least he'd have to come to the nearby ATM with me. If I decided to buy it, that is. Of course, that was an attempt to gauge his reaction.

"Acha, kitna paisa hai tumhare paas?", he asked (How much money do you have right now). I did a quick math, and realised that any deal here would be a steal. Common sense, however, told me that this guy had stolen or snatched it from somewhere and is in a hurry to dispose of the mobile at the earliest. Or he might be a drug-addict looking to make a quick buck out of last night's booty. I was afraid that it would turn out to be a steal, literally. I wanted to get out of this.

"Teen sau rupye tak honge", I'd have something around 300 bucks, I said nonchalantly, though I had a bit more than that. "Theek hai, teen sau de do", (Give me 300) he said and began unwrapping a paper bound by a rubber band. He took out a shiny Nokia N91, the appearance and display of which seemed pretty all right.

I had had enough and wanted to get out of this. I decided to pay him back with his language. "Jaane do bhai, mujhe mere ghar pe baraat nahi chahiye", (I don't want the baraat at my place). Baraat, in the lingo, is referred to as the police. He said: "Kasam se bhai, koi jhol nahi hai, mujhe urgent Bombay jaana hai aur paise ki zarurat hai" (There's no fraud, I want to go to Bombay and need urgent cash for traveling). Bombay, for the uninitiated, is usually referred to as the town area, by the suburbaners.

I said to him curtly that I don't want to buy his cell. Thanks, but no thanks, and you may proceed to find another customer, I'm off. Another instinct told me to go to the nearby police station and ask them to go and do a check on this guy. I chose the former, waved for an auto-rickshaw, signaled him a bye, and left the place.

I'm still happy with my Nokia 6610i.

Life goes on....

2007-05-22T15:52:00.000+05:30

So here I am. Again. After a long time. Personal blogging has taken a backseat. I just haven't been able to post anything related to myself. So I just put up posts randomly to breathe in some fresh life into this dormant blog. Honestly, there are certainly a few exciting things going on. Only when things stabilise would I be able to post regularly. Over course of time, I have become quite attached to my blog and would just not be ready to let go of it. The dull posts in the recent past explain the lack of my, ummm, inability to write a coherent sentence.
However, I'll be back. Like Arnie said, Hasta la vista.

My Favourite Ad Commercials

2007-05-14T18:22:00.000+05:30

I recently came across an article in Hindustan Times which was about the best ads in Indian television history. So I thought I’ll compile a list of my favourite ads ever.

Here is it:

5). Happydent Ad

So this ad makes one smile. It surely does. And it registers the product firmly in your mind because of the jingle and locale.

Watch the ad here

4). Fevikwik

Now Pidilite ads are a classic. All of them. My personal favourite is the one in which a fisherman uses Fevikwik to catch a fish.

Watch the ad here

3). Mile Sur Mera Tumhara

This isn’t exactly one of the most creative ads ever produced. Neither was it an ad in the literal sense for it didn’t endorse or advertise any product. But I grew up (and most people my age would have) on this commercial. Watching the ad gives you a sense of nostalgia, and this is precisely why I like it so much.

Watch the ad here

2). Hutch

I am not a fan of the “You-and-I-in-this-beautiful-world”. Actually, according to me, most of the ads in this series are grossly over-rated. Save one.

This one

1). Airtel

Airtel was a new product then and still had to establish itself. It had already delivered a stunner of an ad (the making of Airtel – starring A.R.Rahman) to launch the product. But this ad absolutely stole the show and established Airtel as a brand of repute. I remember seeing this ad in December 2003 when India toured Australia on a sleepy-eyed morning and fell in love with it. The emotional connect is just too good.

Here’s it

P.S.: I missed out on the Sony Ericsson “One Black Coffee Please” ad. It was a classic.

And here’s one which I despise. I mean, if you’re obscene, at least be aesthetic.

Shilpa's poem...

2007-05-08T17:40:00.000+05:30

Shilpa has come up with a beautiful poem which describes each member of the class of 2007 almost aptly. The description is pretty spot-on in most cases. She wasn't able to post the poem in the Orkut community due to the character-limit, so I've done the job for her.
Here's the poem. Offered without comment. Those who're offended know whom to catch! :)

Though I may not talk to most of you or share great bonds, nevertheless I’ll miss you all.

*Please take it with a pinch of salt. So here it goes…

The one to give John Abraham a run for his money,

That’s Saad Ansari for you honey.

Fashion is her mantra and call centre her lifeline,

Someone who is never present in class,

She is Shaheen Ansari of our class.

Hair like Medusa, skin as clear as glass,

Always with kohled eyes, that’s Surashmi Basu, the bong lass.

Voice like a horse, face like a eunuch,

You know who I am talking about, the ugly black duck.

Mona, not someone to take things lying down,

I’m sure she’ll fight with me after reading this and shout.

With pumped-up arms and belt-buckle of an eagle,

Armaan thinks he is very regal.

Another visiting student of my batch,

That’s Taher Dalal whose attention no professor can catch.

Someone who is XXX rated in the true sense,

That’s Abhishek Giri for you my friends.

She is someone who I have grown up with,

That’s Anisha Gudur, my childhood friend.

A question bank in the true sense,

That’s Suhana Issrani, a confused kid.

A typical Bihari of my batch,

Chandu Jaiswal’s style no one can match.

With short cropped hair and skirt being a must,

That’s Reena Kadri, the dude of our class.

Filled with sincerity to the core,

That’s Moiz Karachiwala for you folks.

With a broken back and high-heeled sandals,

Mehjabeeen Khan is involved in every scandal.

Sweet as candy and cute like a child,

Sofiya Khan is timid and mild.

Someone who is in a world of his own,

Green-eyed Ebrahim is always alone.

The only boy with a musical swirl,

Karan Paranjape is a charmer among girls.

Inculcated with leadership qualities,

Zainab Paradawala is quick to grab opportunities.

Every professor’s nightmare come true,

Bivash Pardesi is a shrew.

Someone who is a Gujarati by caste,

Richa Patel is seldom present in class.

Someone who has always been a mystery,

With Azhar I share no special chemistry.

Shamina always comes in after the professor,

And runs away before anyone can catch her.

A decent boy with curly hair,

Sajjad Rajan is sweet and fair.

With boyish looks and kiddish attitude,

Adnan Syed has low aptitude.

Someone who is loud and ready to kick,

Almas Sheikh is one crazy chic.

Soft-spoken and well read,

Makes Imran Sheikh a sophisticated lad.

Someone whose hard work got him recognition,

Zeeshan Sheikh is a promising proposition.

Someone who always claims that he will fail,

But Nasir always manages to conquer the sail.

He is handicap without the class clown,

Hence without Vinod, Huzaifa Shamshi is down.

Early to bed and even more early to rise,

Raksha Shetty is in class before the professor arrives.

Someone who is fun and mischievous,

Pooja Shetty is actually quite studious.

Everyone wonders whether she’s a part of the class,

B’coz Sneha Singh is never seen in class.

Someone who thinks he is the class clown,

Vinod Tiwari always makes me frown.

Someone who is always ridiculed in class,

Shahir "Sutar" is not a carpenter of course.

Ashish Dharia is a DJ by profession,

But what is he doing in BMM is my confusion.

Finally, the missing piece of this jigsaw puzzle,

Is me, Shilpa Lakhani who I am sure you all would love to strangle.

Shilpa Lakhani

TYBMM

Horoscope Humor

2007-05-07T18:47:00.000+05:30

Horoscope Humor

We're evolving...

2007-04-30T16:18:00.000+05:30

...And so are the ads!
A hoarding which advertises Delhi's Metro Now newspaper. I don't know what to make of it, though.
(Link via: Sepia Mutiny)

At the crossroads of life...

2007-04-18T16:55:00.000+05:30

TYBMM exams ended on the 16th and Insha Allah, I'll be a graduate by June. Also, I will be looking for some openings in the leading newspapers. Let's see how life unfolds.
Meanwhile, the real estate prices in our area have been sky-rocketting and nobody and his uncle have an idea. I mean, real estate developers are offering 2 crore bucks for a 550 sq.ft house, booking away the entire building to demolish and redevelop it, which amounts a staggering 40000 per sq.ft. Kurla and Kalina are going crazy, and at this rate, the real estate prices may soon be at par at with the leading areas of town. Of course, all of it might be just a bubble, but chances are that it is for real, or that the prices may stabilise after this sudden bull-run.

Update: I now realise I have been unduly harsh on Orkut, the chief pastime of all losers based in India and Brazil. I hereby make amends, for it informed me this morning something I always wanted to hear. Such fun.

To neutralise the praise I showered on Orkut, I can't help but link to this superb post by Sneha on the dangerous lot called fraandshippers.

Same old story

2007-04-04T19:54:00.000+05:30

Okay... So I got pulled up in college for doing something stupid. The brass at college got offended with a few of the lines I'd written. Of course, I could've gotten away with it by hiding behind the cloak of anonymity, but that's not my way of doing things. I told the Co-ordinator that if I do something I'd accept full responsibility instead of shying away, and I did accordingly. On another note, I think it's a stupid idea to spy on the students in the hope of policing them. Instead, they should try to create a healthy sense of respect. Apart from that, my dislike for the ridiculous Orkut is well known among my blog-readers. I've always maintained that regular Orkutters need to go and get a life at the earliest. But, that's for another day.
Other than that, exams start the 9th of this month, and I'm - much like the previous sem - underprepared. My marks in the internal assessment are dismally low and I've yet to figure out if the above incident and my low marks are, in any way, connected.
I also know of students who are consistently in the habit of badmouthing professors behind their backs and behave all-sugarcoated when they're with them. All of them got good marks :)
Anyway, different strokes for different folks.
I haven't gotten the time to be online these days. The vacuum in life without the Internet is so marked. So no crazy links coming these days from the "Linkman", that's me.
Posts resume after exams.

Happy Birthday to me :)

2007-03-28T10:29:00.000+05:30

21 years ago, it was, on this fateful day that I came into existence. To torture the crap out of people and make them stay away from me.
So, here I indulge in congratulating myself on my own birth-day just to elicit responses from others. How downright silly!

(Wikipedia informs me of other persons born on this day. Among them are Nasser Hussain, Vince Vaughn, Sophie Mullen and various others. Some loser rapper guy called J-Kwon is exactly the same age as me. Of course, I believe all rappers are losers, but that's for some other day)

Life and other things

2007-03-24T12:48:00.000+05:30

It's been ages since I last looked up my this baby. Am currently enjoying my status of being full time unemployed. It's good to hang around and be busy doing nothing the whole day. Have stayed away from the internet for quite a while and it'll be that way for quite a few days to come. Which means this blog will lie unattended to and lonely. Haven't got anything to write, really.
India crashed out and Woolmer passed away, this World Cup has been eventful and disastrous for the cricket fan. I'm, of course, still betting on New Zealand to lift the Cup.
Other than that, exams start on April 9, and I'm as usual, under-prepared.

HT's irony

2007-03-16T18:15:00.000+05:30

You're flipping through the Wednesday edition of Hindustan Times (Mumbai Edition). On the third page, you come across a 4-column news piece about an accident at Royal Palms. "5 workers killed as Villa collapses at Royal Palms", it announces. "Construction faulty, say cops", it further informs.
All is fine. Only till you scan the bottom half of the page.
Bingo. It's a half page full-colour ad of who else, but Royal Palms.
Aah, Such irony.
Of course, the ads are pre-decided by the advertising department. But even then...
(Brought to my notice by the discerning eyes of Gautam Date)

Things you won't see on Hallmark cards

2007-03-13T21:56:00.000+05:30

...Things you won't see on Hallmark cards

End of day. End of story.

2007-03-09T13:19:00.000+05:30

Today will be the last day at the place I'm working. Or let's say, most probably. And I'll walk away today with a heavy heart and tonnes of memories. For the care and nurturing I got from this place will, I'm sure, be unparalleled. It was the way the people treated me with the seniors doting on you will make me remember this place forever.
It was here where I learned the finer nuances of the art of writing and all that stuff.
I'll remember them all, Jayshree who treated me like her kid bro. All of them were so good, Gautam, Prashant and of course, my boss, Ashok; one of the finest persons I've ever met. I mean, I'll be more than happy if my future employer is half as good.
A not-so-erudite guy like me will find it tough to describe them in words. Seriously.
Take care all of you, with love.

How they get away with it

2007-02-23T16:48:00.000+05:30

Showing disrespect towards the national flag is something for which one can be prosecuted, apart of course from being labeled an anti-national and the like.
So, what happens when a supposed godwoman Nirmala Devi and an industrialist who goes by the name of Anil Ambani show utter disregard towards the national flag. Simple, they get away with it.

Source: Merinews. Link via: IM

In which we tag ourselves. And others.

2007-02-21T15:29:00.000+05:30

Tagging is a pretty boring exercise for many bloggers. I'd love to be tagged, though no one has ever done it. :(
Anyway, here I indulge in a pastime I love, and tag along the way some bloggers I know.
The point is to write 5 things nobody would usually know about you.

1). I know hypnotism. I've read one whole fat book on the art of hypnotism as an eleven year old. The practice demanded you to look at the sun for a full eleven minutes with naked eyes. That was in the later stages of practice, though. I managed to look at sun for about 5 minutes then. It was crazy. And yes, I can hypnotise people today if I go back to practice for even a week. It is, of course, scientifically proven.

2). I'm fairly confident of my debating skills. I'm good at shutting people up with logical reasoning backed up with facts and evidences. The only person I can't defeat is my boss, Ashok when we're at loggerheads over the 'athiesm vs belief' debate.

3). I shave very badly. Period.

4). I want to write a book someday. I haven't zeroed in on the topic but it will probably be centered on the media's projection of Islam.

5). Can't think of a fifth point. That underlines my indecisiveness and inability to articulate myself.

And oh, I hereby solemnly tageth the great Yasir, Heenu, Asim, Hozefa and Samiya this 21st day of February. They may in turn, and with my blessings, pass the meme to someone else.

Update: Yasir and Heenu have responded. They're good people.

The trip...in words

2007-02-16T17:48:00.000+05:30

Returned yesterday from our college trip to Mahabaleshwar. I was earlier apprehensive about going but for a last minute change of mind. And it rocked.

I ended up with loads of fun, lots of memories, a mild fever and a bad back thanks to the bus ride.

We had a blast of a time in Mahabaleshwar, crossed all limits of decency, did all types of crazy things and generally behaved ourselves otherwise.

Our gang of seven guys can be referred to as the hormonally-imbalanced Rang De Basanti group. Each one of us playing each role to perfection. So when myself, Saad, Ebrahim, Hozefa, Prince, Imran and Asim camped together, we made sure we made it a time to remember.

I'll write this in a humourous format and take regular potshots at everyone except, of course, myself.

Those who are offended/hurt or both may flame me in the comment box provided or wait for the next time I meet you in college.

I'll start off with Saad. He, the decent looking bloke with long locks, who was dissed by Abhishek and co. or it was he who dissed them, (depends on which way you look at it) came to us . It was like a Bollywood-esque scene when he came to us, begging for a roof to live under, in cold weather with little clothes. We being the good guys mercifully let him in. The charming boy captured us, though, with his language.
His greatest achievement in life remains giving Asim a makeover from the plain-jane formal wearing bloke spouting Urdu shayaris to wearing a ~~gay-looking~~ pink T-shirt and jeans to boot. His moment of ridicule came when he chickened out when we asked him to mount on the horse. I don't know whether he was afraid of horses or the horse-man. He also made us watch a film which starred the Chinese version of Mithin and Rajnikanth, though the Chinese hero did crazier things. He also had a habit of praising the food no matter how bad it was.

Then comes Asim, the second-most colourful character who is world-famous for his shayaris, his liking for Daisy Ma'am and his famous line, "Kya party, kya haal hai". It is also an accepted fact that Asim is the greatest poet that ever lived. That is, the greatest poet that ever lived in Mahabaleshwar on the 13th and 14th of February this year. His liking for Daisy Ma'am was evident when we caught him singing "Daisy kiya re". She blushed and awarded him a scholarship in NIIT for DTP. His makeover, which shall from now on be referred to as the Great Indian makeover, took its toll as at least five girls were reported to have fallen ill. The doctor's diagnosis says make the girls stay away from horrifying sights.

Then there's Prince. His real name is Akhtar Hussein though people prefer to call him with more obscene names.
A young, good-looking Kashmiri lad, he unleashed his wilder side when he claimed to have slept with the most number of Kashmiri girls than anyone else in history. My guess is the family planning authority drove him out of Kashmir. He's come here to satiate his apetite and study in the free time. He even confessed that he gets turned on at the sight of every passing girl; white, black and grey.(He's accepted this in the video recording and has said it in no uncertain terms). Every girl except Neha, with whom he had a fight in the bus. He hated vegetarian food as much as Neha hated him.

Then there's Ebrahim or Ibu, as we call him. Now, Ibu is the Karan of the flick Rang De Basanti. Silently puffing away on his cigarette and watching away from the sidelines. Never in the thick of things. A bottle of beer and he settles down like a cow in the middle of a road.
Ibu when he was young, we remember, had long flowing locks and a stubble to match and looked a shade like Jason Gillespie. He could do a freestyle dance that would make the girls drool over him. He's cut off the long locks, doesn't look like anyone but himself, his bones have weakened and he can't dance. He just lies awake in regret ruefully remembering his glory days, now that he's lost it all.

Hozefa, a typically silent guy, came into the mood at the right time. He would puff away on his cigarette constantly, had brought a lighter that lit but once a day, and always reeked of ~~cheap liquor~~ Old Monk wine. It was when we were on the way back that he confessed to have a liking for Daisy Ma'am and that "she was hot". Poor Asim.

Imran of course is a very good guy and a friend but his handycam screwed up the most favourite video recording during the trip. But till I recieve the rest of the recording I'll make do with staying mum.

So that's my circle. On a serious note. I'll remember the time we had together guys, staying up awake the whole night under a peepal tree (even when I had fever and was not in a good mood) and lighting the campfire and scaring away the "bhoot".

Will upload the pics from the video shooting later. Will always remember the horse ride, the jokes on Anand Sir, the sunset at sunset point. And the trip.

Update: So Asim has ripped me apart in his poem. Even Hozefa's planning the same. Imran wrote a poem as well. This promises to get interesting

Life's plain wierd!

2007-02-11T12:13:00.000+05:30

Much is happening in my life. Am going through a learning phase. A phase of learning which never ends. A phase when you observe life, together with its events and people. You observe its various hues and its complex turns and facades. You pick up cues and learn its finer nuances. And just when you think you're a learned person, life makes you feel ignorant.
Will probably be going to Mahabaleshwar this month with the college blokes. Promises to be fun.
My favourite quote these days is: "I have much to say, am just not able to articulate". It was coined by me.
Other than that, life's as always good. For, ideally thinking, destiny treats me so very fairly, while it may not be that good for many others.
Hence I rejoice.
Oh hell, you know there's something wrong with you when you start writing like Yasir. lol.
And. Regular blogging will resume once I get over my Writer's Block. For the only way out from it is to write, write and write.

Resume of George Bush

2007-01-29T15:16:00.000+05:30

George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20500

Past Work Experience

Ran for congress and lost.
Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
With father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments in Previous Positions

Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
Set record for most executions by any governor in American history.
Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments As President

Attacked and took over two countries.
Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
First president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in U.S. history.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
Set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other president in U.S. history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in U.S. history.
Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in U.S. history.
Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in U.S. history.
Presided over the biggest energy crises in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
Presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
Dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.
My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history (the 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleezza Rice, has an Exxon oil tanker named after her).
First president in U.S. history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
First president in U.S. history to order a U.S. attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in U.S. history.
First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the human rights commission.
First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the elections monitoring board.
Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.
Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
Refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
First president in U.S. history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. elections).
All-time U.S. (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest lifetime campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.
First president in U.S. history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
First president to run and hide when the U.S. came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
First U.S. president to establish a secret shadow government.
Took the biggest world sympathy for the U.S. after 9/11, and in less than a year made the U.S. the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in U.S. and world history).
With a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
Fist U.S. president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
First U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive.'
Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in U.S. history.
In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the U.S. has ever been since the Civil War.
Entered office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

Records and References

At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available)
AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (they can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)

Commendable indeed!
Link

Here's your chance to become G. Bush

2007-01-25T17:52:00.000+05:30

Want to step into G.W.Bush's shoes? Try the George Bush Speechwriter!
Okay. I admit to having a Bush fixation. But I just can't help it. The guy's a moron in the truest sense of the word.
P.S.: I will continue to link to pages on Bush, till the time Google starts showing my blog as the first result when you type in "Bush". :)
P.P.S.: And did you'll know what a Google Image Search with the keywords "miserable failure" returns? Bingo
And oh! Previous posts on Bush: 1, 2.

Now ain't this seriously creepy...

2007-01-22T16:17:00.000+05:30

Your past life diagnosis:
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern South New Zealand around the year 1425. Your profession was that of a builder of houses, temples and cathedrals.

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
You had the mind of a scientist, always seeking new explanations. Your environment often misunderstood you, but respected your knowledge.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Magic is everywhere around you, even in the most usual, most ordinary situations. Your lesson is to understand this magic and to help other people to see it, too. You are a magician!

This is what this website informs me about my past life. ROFL.
"...your environment often misunderstood you, but respected your knowledge."
No wonder the misunderstanding has flowed onto this life. Such crappy, nonsensical, inane and hilarious fun, these sites can be.

Joke of the day

2007-01-18T17:53:00.000+05:30

Just when you thought the world is going crazier with each passing day, silly incidents hit you in your face, and remind you this is not all.
While idiocies can be classified as plain silly, absolutely stupid and downright ridiculous, this article takes one to hitherto unattained heights.
Right? Otherwise what is one supposed to make of this!
Shilpa Shetty episode not to impact India-UK ties: Finance Minister P. Chidambaram

Humour of the absurd

2007-01-17T17:30:00.000+05:30

I've never -- nor have my peers -- ever thought of myself as a bloke with a great sense of humour. If I'm asked to rate myself I'd say I am just about average, cheeky at times, but ordinary otherwise. But what happens when you try to say something in humour but it doesn't carry across to the other person. You dismiss it as a one-off aberration. And what happens when it happens thrice in a week. You start casting doubts over your sense of humour, oratory, or whatever.

Now consider this: Girl A in college is having a serious altercation with Girl B, so much so, that the expletive meter is clanging real hard. In all goodness, I play peacemaker and manage to pacify the two persons in question and send Girl A off. Girl B then complainingly asks me why was that I was siding more with Girl A. To break the serious monotony of the situation, I break into something like "Oh. I'm seeing that girl. Didn't ya know that?", a typical tongue-in-not-so-chubby-cheek statement.

The next thing is, news is all over the place, and I'm inundated with calls, congratulatory and otherwise. How did you, Girl B, not notice the glint in my eyes.

I'm wondering.

Bush executed?

2007-01-04T17:30:00.000+05:30

The headline has been written to trick the crawlers! Silly, selfish me.

But this piece of news has forced me to come out of my hibernation.
Also, do check out the date of the event. And how many of us would rejoice at such news?
Worth checking out!

Previous posts on Bush: 1

Hail to the boss

2006-12-12T20:42:00.000+05:30

My mentor and tutor in journalism has started a blog. It's a pleasure to welcome him to the rapidly growing world of the blogosphere. Meet Minhaj Rais, a man I admire immensely, both for his extra-ordinary integrity and sheer capabilty. Choosing The Whizard as his moniker, he's started off in typical fashion, lambasting the media for the rut it is in. Good post that.
Do read him. He's good for your mental health. With apologies to Zaki Ansari :)
No, seriously.

So near yet so far

2006-12-01T16:23:00.000+05:30

Results are out. I hadn't geared up for it as I would have liked to, but nonetheless, it was good.
I managed to top the journalism section of our batch, though personally, I think our collective performance as a class was below-par.
That said, I'll further try to improve on my performance in the final sem.
On the cricket front, Ganguly's back. It was inevitable, considering India's shambolic performance.
I doubt, though, if he'd be able to cope with the conditions.
Here are some links from the blogosphere:
Selma Mirza on, well, Orkut.
Greatbong on the outrageous response of the public to India's abysmal display in SA.
Dilip D'souza, in a brilliant post, on the Dalit protests.
Finally, Yasir. On life.

Lan-gaming adventures

2006-11-26T22:26:00.000+05:30

You are old Uncle Khan,
And your reflexes have slowed down;
Yet you attempt to play us,
Are there no kids in town?

We have a cyber-café in our area, of which I have almost become a resident member, playing all these years. One of my favourite games is Counterstrike and I have to admit I play it reasonably well since I have been at it since 4 years now.

I took a 15 day sabbatical from play due to the Univ exams. When I walked in, I saw the kids shouting and playing, at the same time, with the other players. Now, most of the players are 14-15 year old kids and at 20 I can fairly be called old amongst them. So, after a 15 day break I entered the café, and the kids, who were in fine nick, beat me comprehensively.

They almost unanimously started giving me a stare which implied something like “You’re past it all. Why the heck do you play anymore, now that you’re past your prime”. They do not say it, though, but the look says it all.

Of course, my world-famous-by-now moniker ‘KING’ didn’t help the cause either and one of the kids finally blurted out that I must do away with that moniker since I’m no more the ‘KING’.

I couldn’t take that anymore. After practicing the whole day and half the night, I regain that touch which had deserted me. The next day it was vintage Nazim at display. I beat the kids convincingly, get up and reciprocate with a stare that means “Form is temporary, class is permanent. Didn’t you’ll know that kids. And better not mess with me the next time or I’ll freakin have you for breakfast” and leave casually.

P.S.: I admit that I am not any world class player in Counterstrike, or even state-class for that matter, by any stretch of imagination. This post was written jlt, to fill in for the recent drought of posts.

The ultimate guide to make your own bestseller

2006-11-16T17:25:00.000+05:30

Want to make a bestseller a la The Da Vinci Code.

Make it along these lines and write your way to glory.

(Link via India Uncut)

Mayhem at Carter

2006-11-13T15:47:00.000+05:30

A group of young revellers -- apparently inebriated -- rammed into slumdwellers in the wee hours of Sunday morning. At least 6 were killed and 8 injured.
The injured were labourers who were working on the road concretisation project and had put up slums at the pavements to stay.
Carter Road always was a disaster waiting to happen. I admit that even I've taken part in the same kind of 'piloting', as we call it, on many occasions. But seriously, we don't get drunk and ram into pavement dwellers, as those blokes did.
Also, the driver in question, some 21-year old dude named Alistair Perriera, seems unrepentent and says "I won't ever drive again in my life."
And what about those who died, buddy? They won't even get back their lives. Will they? But worry not, you ain't any Salman Khan that the media will jump all over you. Just five days and you'll be out on bail and then.

Good for me

2006-11-07T15:37:00.000+05:30

I admit to be facing a mild identity crisis. Though I would not rate myself as an overtly extrovert guy by any stretch of imagination,
I am pretty outspoken when it comes to close circle of friends.
To put to rest all speculation, here it is.
I'm a balanced person, by certification.

Breaking news: I hacked into the idiot's e-mail inbox...

2006-11-02T18:19:00.001+05:30

...Well, not really. But seriously, I would love to hack into ~~the idiot's~~ George Bush's account.
But thanks to this, we have more than a decent idea what it looks like. Go figure.

Orkut -- Some food for thought

2006-11-02T18:19:00.000+05:30

I've been hooked on to the net since 7 or 8 years now. The internet is a rapidly evolving medium with new concepts coming in and phasing out the old ones. Thus, I remember how we used to log into Yahoo chat rooms and ask people randomly their asl. Chatting is now passé and I admit to finding it odd even then.
Then came two very exciting concepts, blogging and social networking. Of course, personally speaking, the former interests me more than the latter. Blogging has rather been around for quite a few years, but has just caught on recently. It still has a long way to go before it can be reckoned as a phenomenon. Social networking, on the other hand, caught on much later with the collective advent of the likes of hi5, orkut and myspace.
Of them, myspace is more popular in the U.S. while Orkut is growing by leaps and bounds.
Eh, and our High Courts are committed to increasing its popularity by sending a notice to Google in connection with a "I hate India" community.
I did some searching around in the blogosphere and thusly found these posts on Orkut.
First up, Rashmi Bansal, in her superb style, sums up the whole fracas.
Then, there is Gulam Hasan who takes a hilarious look at the more popular Orkut users.
Finally, there's the great Greatbong Arnab who, in his trademark style, ridicules and pokes fun at both the High Court and Orkut. ROTFL stuff that, must read.

P.S.: There's this offer on ebay, Orkut.com and Gmail invitation. Wonder who'll want to buy that.
P.P.S.: Orkut-bashing seems the flavour of the season for bloggers. More links here and here. Finally, there's one person who's saying 'Hail Orkut'

Movies, life, etc.

2006-10-30T19:31:00.000+05:30

Vacations'll end pretty soon and I'm looking forward to the final sem of the three year course. It's been a pretty whirlwind tour of sorts. It's hard to believe that I'll pass out from college 6 months from now, such has been the speed at which time elapsed.
In retrospect, studying in Rizvi was a learning experience. More on that later.
Meanwhile, I checked out Don and Jaaneman. Don was absurdity at its best. Filled with kitschy scenes, rehashed classic numbers, senseless direction and a pace that leaves you gasping for breath, it's pretty well the disappointment of the season.
Jaaneman, on the other hand, is extremely watchable thanks to some superb performances. Akshay Kumar is brilliant. What's more, even Salman Khan, for a change, acts good. The pleasant second half makes up for the dreary first. All in all, Jaaneman's a good package.
My last post generated a host of comments. Though it was never meant to be taken seriously and should've been accepted as tongue-in-cheek, I did offend some of the brass at college. I hadn't ever attempted satirical writing before, and I'm glad the first attempt turned out to be good.

Interview with Prof. Deshpande

2006-10-19T01:16:00.000+05:30

Those who've studied in Rizvi BMS/BMM cannot afford not to know Anand Sir. He has a huge fan following.
Certain persons have even taken the pains to create an online fan club for him. Thus, an interview with the great man himself would enliven our lives.

So....thus spake Anand Sir

Mr. Anand Deshpande Unplugged

He is usually referred to as the aan, baan, and shaan of Rizvi BMS/BMM. Known to wear many hats (he acts as the Co-ordinator-In-Charge, chief clerk, peon, etc by turns), scores of students would readily swear by the fact that there’s none like Mr. Anand Deshpande.

There are teachers and then there is Anand Sir. His unique explaining-with-help-of-transparancies style, and of course the pearls of wisdom he dishes out from time to time make us the luckiest lot of students and him the unluckiest. (It could even be the opposite for some)

Mr. A.D., in a free-wheeling, whirlwind tete-a-tete, fields questions with his characteristic élan and bares his heart out.

For the record, I amn’t the interviewer in question. He is a person called The Interviewer (TI), a random student studying in B.M.S/B.M.M.

The Interviewer: You are called the aan, baan and shaan of Rizvi….

Mr. Anand Deshpande: Hold on, does that mean I am not the jaan of Rizvi anymore. If not, just let me know who it is and I will get him fired like KCH.

T.I.: How has being the Co-ordinator helped you mature as a person.

M.A.D.: Being the Co-ordinator has helped me learn how to behave like a naïve, innocuous and a harmless being and pull off and get away with the shrewdest of tactics.

T.I.: Oh. And your “There is a surprise test on Monday”, which has become the stuff of legend, proves that.

M.A.D.: (grins with gleaming, Happydent-esque smile that makes my eyes blink) Precisely. By that way, students at least prepare for Monday and I don’t conduct the test. My objective of making them study is achieved. Now say who has the last laugh.

T.I.: If there is one person whom you hate from the core of your heart, who is it?

M.A.D.: It would definitely be Phaijaan Kaazi. I’ve heard he has created a community of my name on some Chirkut website, where I’m shown to be smiling behind bars and everybody there pokes fun at me and ridicules me.

T.I.: Why don’t you then call in your expert hacker student Nazim Khan and tell him to hack into Faizan’s account. You would, then, be able to send obscene e-mails to everyone on his contacts list.

M.A.D.: Don’t you know it is still illegal in India to do that. And usse koi fayda nahi. Self-realisation is the most important thing. Phaijaan ka swabhav pehle to aisa nahi tha.

T.I.: Students are threatening to cancel the trip this year unless you stop your habit of dropping in and eating everyone’s meals in the train.

M.A.D.: Kya karoon. Aadat se majboor ho gaya hoon.

T.I.: And I’ve heard this year’s trip is already under cloud…

M.A.D.: Who told you so….

T.I.: Means we will be going to the trip

M.A.D.: Yes.

T.I.: That means we are going to the trip for sure.

M.A.D.: Yes

T.I.: Means the trip is on and we are going.

M.A.D.: No.

T.I.: If there was one student whom you could pick as the most brilliant.

M.A.D.: It would be a toss-up between Minaaz bhai, Shoaib and Natasha.

T.I.: (bewildered) Natasha? Of all persons? Don’t you know that….

M.A.D.: You haven’t followed the career of Dhirubhai Ambani as close as me. One of his favourite techniques to motivate employees was to praise them. It seems I am not making sense and you are not with me.

T.I.: Of course. I am. I am. Okay Sir, it was nice talking to you. Any message you would like to pass on to the students.

M.A.D.: Students need to understand that we are here to help them. I, in consultation with our higher-ups, have fine-tuned the system in such a way that the students have to be a good manager to survive here. Thus, even media students from here walkout as professional-media-students-cum-professional-management-students.

Orkutting, friends, et al

2006-10-11T02:56:00.000+05:30

It's 3 in the night and I'm feeling clueless, aimless and directionless sitting at home. Two papers down, 4 still to go. And I'm unable to concentrate on studies. So instead of trying in vain to sleep, I'm on orkut, updating my profile, though I'm unable to remove a silly picture I had uploaded some time back.
Orkut has changed after it was bought over by Google. For the good. I'm wondering where will Google end. With world domination? As K says.
And did anybody watch out how Schumacher blew his chances away last Sunday. I almost cried my heart out. Let's see if there's a miracle in the last GP, and springing surprises is Schumi's forte.
Anyway. I got to end here. Feeling sleeping. Lest you'd experience speling mstakes.

Exams...and the speech

2006-10-06T01:48:00.000+05:30

My exams for T.Y.B.M.M start on the 9th October and I haven't exactly prepared as I would’ve wanted to. Nevertheless, the sooner it ends, the better. Ramzan’s going pretty good. Youngsters like us have got into this weird habit of hanging out the whole night with friends. Am trying to put a full-stop to it till the end of exams. Went to the town 2 days back and checked out the hookahs on offer. One of them a was green, crystalled piece and I absolutely fell in love with it. Until, of course, the vendor said he wouldn’t sell it for any less than 1900 bucks.

Posts’ll resume after exams. Meanwhile, the Malaysian government has decided to levy fines on people for poor speech. Heh. I wonder what’ll happen if the Indian government starts doing the same here. Hey headmaster, rejoice. You’re in India.

Busy like hell...

2006-09-17T13:59:00.000+05:30

I've been terribly busy these days. This could be attributed to the sudden deluge of projects and assignments as well as the social commitments of hanging out with friends. Both these activities are taking up most of my time.
Checked out Lage Raho Munnabhai recently, worth seeing. A lovable movie though the amount of Gandhigiri gets to you sometimes.
Other than that, life's, again, pretty dull. Gearing up for Univ. exams next month.

Messed up with the template

2006-09-05T14:35:00.000+05:30

This is the 3rd template I've put on my blog.
It all started when I was fidgeting with the template to add some links on the side bar. The side bar then suddenly dropped to the lower half of the blog taking with it my profile which appeared on the right-hand side. I even tried picking a new template, but to no avail. Can anyone out there help me get out of this mess. :(

For all those who were there....

2006-08-30T15:41:00.000+05:30

...For all those were there for me, when I was down. Who stood by me when I needed them, and whom I'm indebted forever.
A million thanks. (Speakers on, please)
:)

When the iPod created a terror scare...

2006-08-29T14:33:00.000+05:30

The dimunitive iPod nano is a pretty good gadget to own. Presently, I have a 2 GB Nano. Its outward sleek appearance can make it look like a delicate thing. But then, according to this article, "the biggest risk to aircraft is World of Warcraft players accidentally flushing their iPods down the toilets".
The iPod owner, an online gamer (much like myself), accidentally dropped his iPod (even i've dropped mine on many occassions) down the loo which blocked the pipe. The authorities were alerted and announced that they had found a suspicious device in the bog and the plane will be landing at Ottawa.
Now, of course, I won't do such a thing.
Coming to iPods, I used to wonder whether the Nano is as delicate as it looks. But these blokes tormented the Nano mercilessly and found out that it is a pretty durable thing. How I heaved a sigh of relief.

My Blogroll, a cup of coffee, et al

2006-08-21T15:33:00.000+05:30

I was introduced to the world of blogging in late 2002 or early 2003, by Yasir. He used to blog on hi5 and I used to keep in touch with him through his blog. He still blogs and has since moved to blogger.
Blogging has come a long way since. Many of the leading bloggers then have left the scene.
My feedlist has now crossed 100 blogs feed. Yeah, I read over hundred blogs everyday. Some of the bloggers I always look forward to, for new posts, are Sidin, Amit, Rashmi Bansal, Gaurav, Shivam, Peter, Jai, Sonia Faleiro, Arnab, Annie & K.(Okay, I admit I even read Warfornews but I don't leave Anon comments there. :) Some bloggers I miss, who either have taken a sabbatical or left the scene, are Jivha, Mahesh, Gautam Date, Pradyuman, Suhail Kazi and more recently, Dilip.
Had an e-mail conversation recently with the ace blogger, and he offered to meet and share a coffee someday. I mean, I'll be more than glad to have coffee with the father of Indian blogging.
What I admire about Amit is his down-to-earth nature. He shares quite a few traits with my boss, Ashok. Both are geniuses and they don't admit it. This makes them both go a notch above on my admire-o-meter.
It's project time in college and the projects I'm working on vary from being pretty silly while some border on being downright stupid. I have been bowled over by Prof. P.K. Ravindranath, who is teaching us three subjects this Sem. He's a gem of a person apart of course from being a veteran journalist, with over 50 years of experience in the field. I don't know why, but I feel overawed by his personality. Seriously.
And did you hear of the Hotel Hitler Cross, in Navi Mumbai. It's been in the news recently. And that's exactly they would've wanted by adopting such a name. Publicity.
Other than that, I have nothing much to say. Life's, as always, pretty monotonous. Pretty boring. And then there are people who live such action-packed lives that they get arrested for the 226th time.
Meanwhile, a peace protest gone awry.

Hidden Maharashtrians over the world

2006-08-21T15:23:00.000+05:30

A funny e-mail forward I got today.

_________________________________________________________________
Here are some personalities who left India, who knows when, in search of prosperity. These folks came from various parts of Maharashtra & became renowned all over the world. To augment their acceptability in the west, they have adopted western names. Over the course of many generations they have lost track of their roots. But because of untiring efforts, we rediscovered them & their origin... Presenting the REAL MAHARASHTRIANS:

REAL NAME (FROM)
...ADOPTED NAME

Janya Banya Joshi (Satara)
...Jon Bon Jovi

Audumbar Agashe (Ratnagiri)
...Andre Agassi

Malati Hinginkar (Hingane)
...Martina Hingis

Damayanti More (Malvan)
...Demi Moore

Meghana Rane (Malvan)
...Meg Ryan

Arjun Shivajinagar (Pune)
...Arnold Schwarznegger

Devendra Gadage (Panvel)
...Darren Gough

Shevanti Dagadu Patil (Kolhapur)
...Sharon Stone

Sitaram Wagh (Nagpur)
...Steve Waugh

Shantaram Varne (Latur)
...Shane Warne

Janoba Rodke (Nashik)
...Jonty Rhodes

Purshottam Sapre (Satara)
...Pete Sampras

Baal Ghate (Alibaug)
...Bill Gates

Menaka Salvi (Jalore)
...Monica Seles

Vallabhrao Phutane (Nevasa)
...Vladimir Putin

Raju More (Nashik)
...Roger Moore

Barkya Borkar (Pune)
...Borris Becker

Atul Gore (Mangoan)
...Al Gore

The effects of Cinema: Part 2

2006-08-21T15:16:00.000+05:30

Post Rang De Basanti, there were lots of people who were 'inspired' by the film and there was talk of doing a 'Rang De' revolution.
Now, can this be termed as the KANK revolution?
Man shoots wife after watching KANK.

because "....she did not allow him to marry another girl he loved."

My friend, you're such a #$%*

2006-08-18T17:05:00.000+05:30

...Hehe. That's my native place UP for you. An annual Abusive Fest in Jaunpur, U.P. was organised to "to promote communal harmony."

The participants had a great time abusing each other to their hearts' content.
But just when they are done with their choicest of expletives, they hugged each
other as brothers.

Much fun.

Wassup with me...

2006-08-12T16:42:00.000+05:30

Well, my posts haven't really been about what's up with me.
The monotony of life makes me struggle to think of ideas to write on. Regular personal blogging will start as soon as I start doing something adventurous.
Meanwhile, my activist friend Hozefa has done a brilliant post on how some persons are using the recent bomb blasts to gain political mileage. Trust him to come up with something as brilliant as this. He's, in fact, even managed to capture a video clip or two.
While updating my blogroll, came across a two-month old post by Medialisting that explains why a majority of American soldiers are trigger-happy.
And I thaught they were just terrorists who don't deserve to live on the Earth.

Sorry. This is the wrong machine...

2006-08-10T15:08:00.000+05:30

...Plz try again.
Thieves enter a bank and carry off a cheque-deposit machine instead of an ATM.

The new Rediffmail rocks

2006-08-05T17:56:00.000+05:30

Switched over to the new Rediffmail. It rocks.
The AJAX based platform makes navigating simpler, while the preview enables you to check the mail without opening it. Press 'delete' and the mail simply vanishes. Plus a whole lot of features make me prefer Rediffmail over any other mail service including Ho-haa mail.

Omkara: What’s the fuss about?

2006-08-01T17:08:00.000+05:30

(My rating: 2 out of 5)

It had Konkona Sensharma and Saif Ali Khan, two of my favourite actors. It had got gushing reviews from TOI, Mid-day and Rediff. Then Jabberwock told us to go for it. So that was it. Enthusiasm got the better of me and I decided to check it out.
If not for the burden of expectations, I would have maybe given it a decent 3 stars. But plainly, it was disappointing. The movie, as if coming straight from RGV’s factory has that characteristic darkness and intensity. Different people have different choices. For me, the film simply fails to deliver.
Set in Uttar Pradesh, the film has heavy-weights like Naseeruddin Shah, Ajay Devgan and Saif Ali Khan, apart from the ever-improving Konkona. The dialect of U.P. which they appear to be speaking seems more like a rehash of Rajasthani and Bhojpuri. And oh, did I forget to mention I hail from U.P.’s heartland but seriously couldn’t relate to the language. Except of course from the rifle-shooting part at marriage ceremonies, which reminded me of some of such ceremonies I myself have been part of.
Well, Ajay, according to me, goes a bit too overboard with his brooding expressions which might win him the Naturally Unnatural Actor of the Year. The script is such that nobody (except Saif and to an extent Konkona) was allowed to do justice to the role. Naseer, Kareena, Vivek and Bipasha (yes, I think it was Bipasha) are wasted.
Bottomline FOR ME: not even paisa vasool.

1000 and still going strong...

2006-07-29T19:01:00.000+05:30

...That's Shane Warne for you. And mind you it isn't about wickets.

Horses for courses Journos and suchlike

2006-07-29T16:38:00.000+05:30

When it comes to TV News channels's websites, I think CNN-IBN is a notch above the rest. The website has a very uncluttered layout, and is good on the eyes. The news updates are frequent, and by far, it has the most prominent blogs section when it comes to blogging in the MSM sites. Then, they also have this section called Wild, Wacky World (along the lines of Oddly Enough News). No, not Wild , Wetty Dreams.
(Meanwhile, via IBN) Journos getting pony rides as incentives. Since, I am an avid horse rider, how I wish I worked there.

Tried Newshutch

2006-07-29T11:52:00.000+05:30

Via Vulturo, came across a Web-based RSS Aggregator called Newshutch. The AJAX based Feed Aggregator is quite impressive. Better than Bloglines, at least, which looks pale when compared to Newshutch.
The black template and the swift feed display is good. Some issues need to be resolved, though.

Your speling is wrong...

2006-07-27T16:47:00.000+05:30

...er! Your spelling is wrong.
A firm which offers spell-check softwares gets its own spelling wrong.

Remembering 26/7

2006-07-26T15:32:00.000+05:30

This day a year back, counts as one of those horrific days when life came to a standstill. The city that never slept came to its knees because of nature's fury.
Living in Kurla, I have some vivid horror stories to narrate.
Meanwhile, a peom I wrote in the aftermath of the disaster.

‘Mumbai has a heart’

- By yours truly

It poured and poured enormously,
the rains were there for all to see;
the day will remain etched in our memory,
when this city of ours resembled a sea.

It was a drizzle, a shower, then a downpour,
the experience left all of us sore.
It was the day the clouds burst open,
and we wanted the rains no more.

Cries of help, wails of sorrow.
It rained as if there was no tomorrow.
With the water, it rained diseases and death,
Albeit. Don’t we remain spirited.

It was then the ordinary citizen,
who helped the other through thick and thin.
Stories of sacrifices made it evident that;
Mumbai surely has a heart.

In thy name...

2006-07-24T15:48:00.000+05:30

....we drink.

The next time you ring a call center....

2006-07-22T18:33:00.000+05:30

...You might be calling a murderer.

Travel allowance, House Rent Allowance...

2006-07-20T14:14:00.000+05:30

...now loo allowance. Good, isn't it?

Are you a superman?

2006-07-18T15:26:00.000+05:30

Check this list and lemme know.

Don't say 'Thank you, Jesus!'

2006-07-18T14:51:00.000+05:30

...when you're acquitted in the Court. Might land you in trouble.

2006-07-11T14:07:00.000+05:30

The angel that is Materazzi

Now that Zidane has been transformed into a demon overnight, let's see what a brilliant footballer Materazzi is

2006-07-11T13:13:00.000+05:30

The most famous butt!

The video of Zidane headbutting Materazzi

The charity season is on

2006-06-29T14:39:00.000+05:30

After Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, it's Jackie Chan's turn to donate money. He's decided to donate half his wealth, which stands at about a billion Hong Kong dollars, to the Jackie Chan Charitable Foundation. Link.

Indians at the FIFA World Cup

2006-06-28T19:09:00.000+05:30

Move over Vikash Dhorasoo. Mid-day has unearthed some hidden Indians at the World Cup. ROTFL stuff this

Karan Thapar's Advocacy

2006-06-19T17:04:00.000+05:30

Check out the transcript of Karan Thapar's interview of Rahul Bajaj. Now, it doesn't get any blunt-er than this.

Mahajan Saga -- II

2006-06-02T16:08:00.000+05:30

Rahul Mahajan, son of late politician Pramod Mahajan, is serious due to suspected 'food poisoning'. Some mysterious white powder has been recovered from his person. Let's see what the results of the powder say.

Will I be third time lucky

2006-06-02T15:31:00.000+05:30

So I've decided to resume blogging. I remember the time I started blogging way back in 2003. I don't even remember my blog's name today. Back then, the word 'blog' appeared more like the name of some tacky insect. I started off with an enthusiasm, which soon died off since very few visitors came to my blog. (Some people, I was told later, came to my blog but left without reading). A few months back, I resuscitated my blogger account, but that too didn't last long. So here I am, finally. With my third innings.
P.S.: My third innings began on an awful note with a dumbell falling on my left foot in the gym. It wasn't that bad, however. Rains are here. Will be posting some pics later.